Consens guidelines
In order for everyone to feel comfortable at my events, it is important that everyone speaks a similar language when it comes to interacting* with each other. Since we all come from different communities, have different wealth of experience and also bring different expectations of these events, I would like to give you a few guidelines to enable the most harmonious interaction possible.
*I use interaction as a synonym for bondage situations as well as non-bondage situations that can arise between two or more people
Einvernehmen
01
Only touches people with their explicit consent.
Here, questions are asked before action is taken, not the other way around - regardless of whether it is an everyday interaction or an interaction during tying.
02
No one may be coerced or coerced into any action, activity or interaction.
The person must choose to interact voluntarily and without pressure or coercion.
03
In order to be able to decide on an interaction, i.e. to be able to give consent, it is necessary that the consent is given on an informed basis.
This means that a person has received all relevant information necessary to make an informed decision and has understood that information before agreeing or disagreeing. In a kinky context, this can be the intentions and expectations of the other person(s) or the risks associated with the practice.
04
Real power structures can ensure that the ability to assess and give consent is restricted.
Keep in mind that different levels of experience, social status or level of awareness lead to real power dynamics that are not always immediately recognizable and desired. Only interact with people you feel really comfortable with and not just because they have an important role in the community or they are particularly good at something.
05
To be able to consent, individuals must be in a physical and mental condition to make an informed decision.
Top or subspace, drug consumption or similar conditions can limit the ability to make decisions and give consent.
06
Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
It's ok to give consent at one moment and then realize shortly afterwards that something isn't wanted (anymore). In the event of a consent withdrawal or cancellation (e.g. in the form of safe words), this form of interaction must be ended immediately.
07
Consent must be obtained again and again.
If the other person has consented to something once, it does not mean that the person would "automatically" give consent again in the next encounter.
09
Consent is not transferrable.
Just because a person agreed to interaction x does not mean that all further interactions are also okay.
Clear communication & Limits:
01
Each individual is responsible for themselves and for clearly communicating their needs and limits.
Even though it may be difficult to say "no," use your voice to express your feelings. Clear communication helps to avoid misunderstandings and unwanted situations.
02
Create an environment in which others find it easy to communicate their needs and limitations.
Pay attention, interpret body language, and give people the space to become aware of their own feelings.
03
Only "yes" means "yes".
If a person is unsure, maybe hesitant or doesn't say anything at all, it means "no". A "No" is not a refusal, but can have various reasons. A "no" is a complete sentence, and people don't have to explain why they're not (right) interested. Respect this, don't take it personally, and appreciate the person's ability to set and communicate their own boundaries.
04
Take care of your physical and mental health during the event.
That means eating and drinking enough and being able to withdraw from stressful situations and take breaks.
You need help?
Your safety and well-being is my top priority. If you ever feel uncomfortable that a person attending my events, being taught by me or invited by me as a teaching person is behaving in an assaultive or abusive manner, or if there are assaults at the events themselves, please do not hesitate to contact me immediately. I will take each case seriously, treat your case with absolute confidentiality and work with you to find solutions to respond appropriately to such a situation and re-establish a safe space for all concerned.
You can contact me personally, via email (to mieneko@gmx.de) or via telegram (@MieNekoRope).